Hello diary � where have you been?
Oh, right here at ann-frank.diaryland.com? Umm, okay well it�s good to know you are still around.
Hi there. I�m the nut talking to my online diary. I think the hair dye is seeping into my brain, causing irreparable damage. Well, to be honest, I�ve got a little towel-cape-thing wrapped around my neck and my head covered in dye-goop, so I thought I�d take 30 minutes or so to bang out some self-indulgent nonsense while I am waiting for the irreparable damage to set it.
I know, can you hear more about the hair dye? I know you want to.
Okay, okay, wait! Don�t go! There is more!
Okay not really (oh why, oh why must I play these diary games!?)
Bah, okay to get on with it! There is no New Year recap for me (it�s too late for that anyway) but I will wrap up the last week of 2004 like this: Christmas, my birthday, New Years Eve.
And you know what happens every year, right? I celebrate New Years Eve on my birthday (a few days before) because it�s so damn close to the �real� thing, so why not? I mean, it�s my damn new year! Or something.
And if you have spent even more than 5 minutes reading here at ann-frank.diaryland.com, you can probably guess what went down for the birthday. Yes, at this point, after all of these years, our online-diary-relationship may as well be called: Totally Ann-Frank Mad Libs (c). You know, where you can fill in your own answers to guess what goes down at just about any birthday let alone any night I have out?
ann-frank turned [pick a number] today. Her friend threw her a [pick a politically incorrect birthday party theme] party. There was lots of [pick an alcoholic beverage] and a few very fun rounds of [pick some sort of gambling game] . Ann-Frank went to bed [pick an adjective] and [pick an adjective]. The End.*
I swear, it�s like this diary writes itself
all the time sometimes.
I got caught feeling myself up in front of one of our VPs at work today. I didn�t mean to do it, but you know how I have been doing a lot of the swimming of the laps in the pool lately? Well who knew such constant physical activity would result in muscles? I mean, not like the huge muscles you get from the Brad Pitt New Hollywood Movie Role Regime, but like, muscle tone. Hell, I kind of knew muscle tone�s been going down for the past 10 months or so I�ve been hitting the pool, but honestly it caught me off guard today when I was standing outside the VPs office and he was all, �come on in!� and while walking my hand sort of brushed against my leg and I felt this like, lump. And I was all, holy shit! What the hell is wrong with my leg?!
I was so stunned by my leg muscle action I totally gripped my thigh. For at least a good five seconds or so.
Hello ann-frank, meet your quadriceps. Quadriceps, ann-frank.
Did I mention this all went down while I was standing in the doorway of the VP of Marketing�s office?
I umm, tried to play the whole thing off like there was some sort of � something on my skirt, you know, �la, la, la! What is this! Oh coffee stain, why have you ruined my clothing again!� but something tells me he wasn�t buying it. I mean, the man is all business as usual anyway, but this time his look was more like, we don�t do that kind of business here so take it elsewhere young lady!
So, you know, that was fun.
Whoa, time to go already? Yes, I am afraid the half hour is up, my friend. Time for me to wash this hair dye right outta my hair. And yes, I know what you are thinking. �Really? A full half hour to bang out that anecdotal garbage?�
Yes, yes, it was. I mean, I had to consult m-w.com to nail down the correct definition of adjective AND spell check quadriceps, so you know, that took some time. I�d blame it on the hair-goop, but y�all have been here before. You know better.
Okay then. Bye!
* 33, cowboys and Indians, beer, shut the box, hammered, alone