I come home from one innocent night of drinking many many beers and find my buddy list is lit up like a god damn Christmas tree, yíall.
Apparently, you have had some thoughts.
But I wonít get into it, instead I will tell you this week I woke up Monday morning to a bunch of construction type-noises going on outside my window on the second floor because apparently the shops below my apartment had some sort of beef with the chipping paint and the big holes in the awning that surrounds the building but me, I had no idea was going to go down this week, because quite frankly the shops below me can bitch and moan about the state of the exterior of the building all they want but as long as like, my plumbing works I donít really care what goes on out there.
But the point is. The point is come Monday morning I woke up at 6am to weird pounding noises and there were dudes in my windows.
Which really cuts into my nekkid morning coffee time, you know?
But whatever, I mean, couldnít they have warned me Iíd wake up Monday morning with the like, the dude sporting the 80ís power ballad mustache in my window staring at me?
Is it too much to ask to be warned?
But whatever. They started on my side of the building early Monday morning which was fine because, dudes or no dudes, I had to get up early anyway. But come Sunday when itís sleep Ďtil the church folk are done with services and clicking the heels of their good shoes on the pavement Ďround noon time and the mustachioed dude rackety-rack-rack has moved to the other side by the Firemanís window waking him up? Iím golden.
And evil apparently.
Did I mention I saw a rat the size of Texas outside in the beer garden of the bar this evening?
Well, yeah. I did.
Donít mess with The Rat Rat the size of Texas, just mosey on and drink your beer inside, kids. Taste the same, less the risk.
This is an ann-frank beer drinkng public safety announcement, because someone needs to look out for
my your drunk ass.
Everything I do, I do it for you!