Ok, so my mother�s coming into town again this weekend �cause the nephew (her grandson obviously) is all turning 4!
And there�s gonna be a party!
Which is cool, because I love the little bugger to death. But it�s going to be a loooong weekend, ladies and gentlemen. The phone call earlier this week went a little something like this:
Mom: So, I think I�ll come in Friday night then. It�s okay if I stay with you, right?
Me: Sure, mom, of course. Absolutely.
Mom: [getting down to business] Ok, then well I was thinking I�ll come in Friday night then we can hang out after you are done with work, have dinner, maybe do some shopping��
Me: Uh-huh, yeah�
Mom: Then Saturday we will drive to the party early so we can see the nephew before the guests arrive [about an hour away] and then Lori [the sister in law] said we could stay the night, which will be nice so we don�t have to drive back �.�
Me: Ok, uh-huh�suuuure�
Mom: �And then we can all spend Sunday together then we will drive back to your place Sunday, browse the bookstore or something and I�ll stay the night and we�ll get up really early Monday and have breakfast before you go to work��
Me: Uh-huh, ok, yeah � can you hold on a sec, ma? Thaaaaanks �. let me � just�. grab a pen � Ok, mom, sorry g�head, you were saying? Yeah, sorry about that � I just need to write this all down and maybe make a diagram or two to find out exactly when I�ll have time to breath.!!
Good. Gravy. Don�t get me wrong - I love me mum and all she is truly super-awesome � but dude � 72 hours plus? That�s a lot of uninterrupted one-on-one-mother-daughter quality time.
Thank goodness she�s a morning person, and would rather drive at such a time � so she�ll be here bright and early in the morn� instead of tonight.
Which buys me a little breathing room to scrub the floors, take out the garbage, find a matching dish set* and hide the porn and things. I mean, I was going to head out tonight for a night of music and friends and cocktails and such, but considering what happened last time (I mean, you remember what happened last time, right? No, seriously � follow thatlink then come back to see just what a big old �tard I am � I�ll wait)�
Ok, back? Ok, considering what happened last time, I think it�s best I just hanker down and stay in have a few cocktails and listen to The Alkaline Trio with my friend Wicked Pete.
But maybe I�ll do a combat roll for the hell of it anyway. I dunno, after a few it could suddenly seem like a good way to get to those hard to reach dust bunnies.
So, anyway, you will have to excuse me, I've got a hot date with the Swiffer�
* isn't it good enough her daughter didn't grow up to be a crack-whore? Does her sucess also have to depend on a matching dish set, too? I mean really - when did that bar get raised?