So, I came home yesterday and there was another gift. Another gift on my door. A white gift bag with pink tissue paper.
From the fireman.
What? I never told you the neighbor-guy across the hall was a fireman?
Well, he is. Yeah, I know a Fireman. But cute sometimes not so cute other times.
Honestly, I can't decide. When I catch him on like, a Saturday night, right before he's going out and the hallway smells like Cute Fireman and he�s got his leather jacket on and he�s all cleaned up he's cute.
But when I catch him on Sunday mornings and the deep dark circled bags under his eyes and he�s all in his grungy Fireman patched sweat suit with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth and he reeks of beer and broads � and he�s on his way to the dumpster dragging around a big Hefty bag full of his empties all clinking - well � he�s not so cute.
Yeah, I know. We�ve all been there.
But that doesn�t matter! The point is � yes! The point is�
I think he�s trying to buy me out again. He and his loud ass friends were in the hallway the other night � about midnight �causing a ruckus. Drunk. Men. Blah, blah, blah.
I stuck my head out the door to see what was going on � just like any good nosey neighbor would.
And I shooussssshed them. That�s right I shousssshed them all!
It was late, they were out there for like 45 minutes. They were really loud. I was tired. It was like, a school night for chrissakes!
And a day later, on my door � another gift. A cute little Christmasy Candy Bouquet thing.
Last time he caused trouble he left flowers. This time candy bouquet.
If he keeps up at this pace � with the ruckus and stuff � I won�t just shooooush him. Oh no, next time I will most certainly get all rowdy-nosey neighbor on his ass and run out into he hallway all gangbusters brandishing a rifle!
Don�t get me wrong, I am not violent or anything but I figure if he likes to leave gifts after being shousssshed, well, a rifle? That oughta get him to quit dicking around with flowers and candies and things and leave cash next time.
You know, all proper like.