So you know how sometimes you use your email account at work to throw out those funny and pornographic emails, off-colored jokes, and general chit chat with your friends about your Freaky Friday of the Not So Disney Kind?
And while you may not be really worried ‘cause after all you work for some huge corporation and you figure your five bosses are more worried about your TPS report cover sheets than say, email bandied about concerning your affair with the lady in the Accounting department - you just be careful, okay?
Especially if you think that lady in the accounting department might be cookin’ the books a bit.
Because I have been meaning to say, I was listening to NPR just last week and they mentioned that as a part of their search for Enron evil-doers, the Federal Energy Regulation Commission made all of the emails ever sent or received by Enron employees, available in very public and very SEARCHABLE online database.
And so there, available to the public, courtesy of the Book Cookers and the FERC, are very private email exchanges about horrible mothers-in-laws, sexual affairs, and gobs of social security numbers and credit card information. Online. In a searchable database.
Do I have to ask?
Good news is, according to other sources this database has now been purged of most private information, so many of these people don’t have to worry about their Leather Fetish going public any more.
Only, let this be a cautionary tale to all y’all who like to bad mouth your lame-ass boyfriend’s Viagra addiction with your quick and easy work email account, all right?
Better yet, let this be a big old shout out to the folks who love to FORWARD.
Please for the love of all things holy, STOP forwarding me those huge photoshopped and schlocky “priceless” JPEGs of that Steve Bartman guy who tried to catch the foul ball in game 6. There were about two dozen other Cubs fans all around him ALL reaching for the ball and it could have very well been one of those people who fucked it all up.
So where do you think those other two dozen Cubs fans are now? On their knees in a church somewhere lighting a candle thanking the fucking lord it wasn’t any of them who touched that foul ball. That’s where.
Yes, it all sucks more than a lot.
I know many of you have a real emotional investment in your Cubbies. And that’s fantastic.
But let’s dry the tears Cubs fans. The beer will still flow at Wrigley Field next year. And the pain will subside just a little bit more after your third Bud Light goes down and you are once again basking in the sun, squished in a bleacher seat next to the wasted Trixie and her twelve friends all giddy and sporting their tighty-tight titty-tee tank tops. Because let’s be real. Let us not front, that’s what a lot of y’all are really looking forward to when you say “wait ‘til next year.” Right?
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