Yesterday, some free hockey tickets were thrown my way for the game last night. Now, I am not necessarily a fan of The Hockey but I am one big fan of free food and beer and comfy seats – which are all provided, as these were actually tickets to one of those fancy-pants suites. So even though I am not a Professional Sports fan and I don’t know icing from high sticking it was all, hey, what’s that? You say there’s a dessert cart? And beer? FREE beer?
Hell, you put it that way and of course I’m gonna jump the zamboni and run.
So last night during the Presidential address, there I was in this comfy little room trying to watch the comfy little television and even though the volume was way up I couldn’t really hear anything what with the thousands of people cheering on the game, so all I could really see was Junior moving his lips and you know the entire time I was thinking, “the war has started, the war has begun, just say it: you have started a war ” because you know, after all of the build up and the news and the speculation and deadlines for something I wasn’t sure about; could only wait it out; only hope for the best even though all arrows and neon signs were pointing to this one horrifying conclusion, if it was going to happen I just wanted to hear it. Concrete.
And so there I was only I don’t know why I was straining so hard to hear or what exact statement I expected to hear it’s not like I was going to hear the ridiculous, like he could just ever cut through the bullshit and just SAY IT. “We are going to war. Many of you can now officially fear for your lives.” Because, instead you know, it’s never a exact declaration, it is a string of what ifs and could bes and now or nevers wrapped up and spinning in sanitized phrases like “… early stages of disarming...” “Conflict” and “opening stages of broad and concerted campaign” and “striking select targets of military importance…”
And so there I was with the teevee volume all the way up and my back turned to the thousands and thousands of people cheering on the game while thousands of people thousands of miles away were going to wake up to a “military campaign” all the while the house organ played “God Bless America” and I guess it was suppose to sound inspiring or comforting or something but instead it sounded like a twisted hurdy-gurdy gone amuck and the whole experience was just so bizarre and unreal I felt sick and terrible.
Yes, I felt bad.
Yes, I feel bad.
I felt horrible.
I feel horrible.
But you know, I am still an asshole because I was still way excited when the dessert cart showed up.