Hey, know what’s really cool? Red hair dye splashed against white bathroom tile. That’s what’s cool.
Looks like some sort of whacked-out Lych-y massacre went down but yet it washes right off, no one gets hurt.
Okay, maybe that’s a stretch. But it is big fun. Swear.
You know what else is really cool? Showering with the lights off.
No, really, it is. I just tried it! Why? I mean besides getting the red hair dye out, absolutely no reason at all, of course, which is like, how most things in my life happen – but really, you should try it some time.
Lots of hot, hot water, billowy steam in the darkness looking all spooky in the blue-grey light streaking through the window. You can rinse and sing along with bad classic rock request hour on the college radio station and quite frankly, the whole thing’ll make you feel freaked out and yet a bit randy at the same time – but mostly freaked because all of the sudden there’s a really fucking creepy Pink Floyd song you’ve never heard on the radio and it’s the 8 and a half minute kind that just drones on and on with bells and clocks and diabolical “mwaaahahaha’s” in the background and sure you’ll stick it out for the first 4 minutes or so but then it wears you down and you see all that red hair dye splashed on the tile and suddenly you can’t remember if you locked the front door and the billowy steam is no longer calming and inviting, no, in fact, is that the shape of Satan you see forming there in that pretty light coming in from the window? and soon you’ll be reaching for that damn light switch because you’re just trying to get clean for crying out loud!
Just do me a favor and don’t get too freaked out too quickly and crack your ribs on the sink or anything, because get this, wet tile is really fucking slippery, ok?
And yeah, I know. So much for the break up. Looks like me and diaryland are a bit more codependent that we first thought. But considering my dreams have been downgraded from things of an illicit nature to like, having coffee, I think we’re good to go for a little while longer. Okay?