This is what you had to say:

Marn, eh - 2006-06-20 15:59:41
Oh, man ... what a craptastic day. It can only get better, Flava
Kungfukitten - 2006-06-20 16:28:48
A Holter Monitor test, bleah, they want to see if your heartbeat goes into wonky rumba beats during the day. If I were you, I would have pretended it was a bomb, run into Victoria's Secret, ripped open my shirt to show the device and screamed "Give me all your Ipex underwire bras size 36C or I'm blowing this place sky high, mutherfuckers!" Seriously, it's so scary when your doctors are making you get every test known to mankind and don't know what's wrong with you. I'm sure that you're going to be just fine. E-mail me if you want to talk, I read medical records all day for a living and went through a huge medical trauma last year. I'm sending you good thoughts so your heart will mend and love will blossom!
Mare - 2006-06-20 17:30:39
Yup, did the Holter - one for 24 hrs, and one for 48. The second time, the tape they used left welts for days afterwards. Charming. I hope all goes well for you. Better to see that nothing is going on rather than not know anything at all.
golfwidow - 2006-06-21 07:09:35
I'm fascinated by the concept recording your heartbreak, but sorry about it all the same.
Heeland Lass - 2006-06-22 09:48:21
Hiliarous and very sad at the same time. Sorry, Sweets. HL x
katie d - 2006-06-23 02:16:22
I had to do that test, but they gave me a smaller one that didn't stick out everywhere and was all comprised of one unit, so there was no clock wearage. And at the end of it, they still went "huh," shrugged, and told me just keep doin' what I was doin'. I'm like, wait; you made me wear electrodes for 48 hours, and all you're gonna say is HUH? WTF gives, mutha--. They of course, were unimpressed with my Samuel L. Jackson and told me to have a nice day. All I got out of it was that yes, I do indeed have a little arrhythmia going on with my heart that no one seems to think is actually really serious, though the last guy did tell me to keep an eye on it. I was like, "keep an eye on it; TF?" I've had it since my mid-twenties, and while that was not eons ago, it was long enough ago that the fact that it doesn't seem to have gotten worse is probably a good sign it's not life-threatening or anything. All of which I'm tossing out there in an effort to make you feel better, so I hope it does. I'm sorry about the guy. :( (((((BIG HUGS))))) kd
ikss - 2006-07-21 17:57:36
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time, lately. I hope all is well.
havemycake - 2007-02-21 21:00:43
you're a talented writer. you could have been whiney but you chose to go crass. kudos on a choice well-made.

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