So I went out with some coworkers last night, stayed out later than I should have; am hung-over today etcetera et_fucking_cetera tell us something we haven’t heard before ann-frank.
So, the Bar in which we were drinking has a total 1986 Holiday Inn lounge feel to it; which is the only way I can think to describe it though I am certain this doesn’t really go far in the way of like, setting the scene.
I mean, how many Holiday Inn cocktail lounges did you really hang out in 1986?
But you know, if you were to ask me, I could honestly answer “one”. That is because as a bridesmaid in my older brother’s wedding my way-under-21-teenaged self was actually allowed to enter the Holiday Inn lounge with the rest of the bridal party because who is going to question anyone in yards and yards of poofy-shiny pink lame?
And yes, now that you mention it, I did, in fact, think I was the shit.
Now if you didn’t before, I know you think I am just bragging. Like I just worked the whole 1986 angle in there so I could like, tell you about my early beginnings of binge drinking. But no, no, that is not true. I do it because it sets the scene. Like the old stand-by “it was a dark and stormy night,” mystery opening, I help y’all feel as though you were there right next to ann-frank on the bar stool.
Ok, so now I am drifting –because the point of this whole mess is to tell you on the way into The Bar last night the marquee outside was flashing bright and sexy with the promise of an appearance from “The Bud Girls”.
It just so happens one of last night’s Bud Girls turned out to be one of our former interns. She is, of course a tall blonde with a belly ring and hot pants. At least standing there in her red titty-tee with the Budweiser logo blazed across her boobs, it saved me the time in asking, “so what have you been up to lately?”
Would it be overkill to let you in on the fact she also moonlights at Hooters? Because it is true.
At any rate, my friend Matt was pretty friendly with her during her time with our company, so in between her official Bug Girl duties that included handing out glow sticks and t-shirts as well as referring to herself numerous times as “The Bud Girl” while reprimanding drunken men for innocently grazing her shoulder as she walked through the crowded aisles - ie: “You do not touch The Bud Girl!” the two engaged in a little of the catching up kind of chit-chat.
In the middle of their long conversation, Matt expressed genuine concern for The Bud Girl’s future but apparently there was no need to worry as she said she had it all under control. The Bug Girl said not only had she been working at Hooters, but she was making fat cash doing the Bud Girl circuit, enabling her to put away a little money. The Bud Girl said she’d been reading up on investing – lots and lots of books – and she was now finally ready to take the plunge and start investing.
Actually, The Bud Girl said she was just finishing her favorite of all the books: Your Financial Future: How to Manage Your Money.
She even went so far as to suggest maybe Matt should really check it out for himself sometime because “It’s written at a High School level but it’s actually really really easy to read.”
Direct quote, friends.
I am not sure why some say I am too critical of the likes of The Bud Girls and their ilk.
And that was my Thursday night.
p.s. I finally decided I am going to sell my extra ticket to the Alkaline Trio Halloween show on Ebay. Instead I will see them Friday Nov. 1st. The Donnas are opening the Nov. 1 show and I think that is most excellent. Yeah, I know you are thinking “The Donnas are so 1998” but whatever! I am excited!