Ye Olde Ball Park Just Ain’t What it Used to Be

7 tickets released game day to the final Cubs v. Cards series game of season: $126

Two foam #1 Cubs Claws purchased for the sole purpose of annoying Cardinal’s fan friends sitting next to you: $18

7 rounds of beer for lunch in the ballpark cups the equivalent of 5 oz Dixie cups (plus tip): $270

Watching Sammy Sosa hit a homerun with 2 men on base then watching horrific-Tony-Home-Perm-Lady decked out head to toe in Cardinals gear screaming at her mustachioed husband all dressed up in Cubs T-shirt and hat, “IF THEY GET ONE MORE MOTHERFUCKING RUN YOU AIN’T GETTING NO GOD DAMN PUSSY TONIGHT” while scores of parents look on in horror and rush to cover their childrens’ ears …

Well, you betcha … priceless …