I am going through some serious James Brown Therapy right now.
Yep, today was that bad. But don�t fret, it�s nothing James� 20 Greatest Hits can�t take care of.
I mean, really. Have you ever listened, people?
Fuuuuuck, if �Hot Pants� doesn�t just make you want to giggle and move your ass and forget the 9 to 5 (or in my case the 9 to 8 and weekends) then I�m sorry - I would have sent flowers had I known you flatlined.
Sadly, this particular CD is on loan right now. You see, I went to that corporate book empire down the street for the past 2 weekends determined to spend the gift certificates my peoples bestowed upon me this holiday season. Because people who know me know if there�s one thing I am going to blow my money on � it�s books and music.
And I tried. I really did. But the one book I really wanted, they didn�t have. The other, they may have had but the girlie old behind the counter had a hard time with the name �Cintra�, then I was getting attitude from the pseudo-goth chick behind the counter and fuck if I am going to pay almost 20 bucks for any CD (unless it�s a double or maybe for charity or something).
So, I did what any respectable person would do. After I tripped on the escalator, I gathered the remaining dignity I had�. then ran to cough up $5.50 to finally clear my name at the local Public Library.
Which means I am free! Free to take as many books and CDs and things as I wish! Until I accrue more fines because I am such a slacker ass � hey stop that! There�s no judging in my diary. Ok, maybe a little. I am bad, I know.
Good. Gravy. Let me loose in the local PL and you best watch yourself. Greedy, greedy, greedy.
The only problem is now I want to read my books and listen to my music but I have to finish the selected book for � the book club.
Yes, yes. Against my better judgement I stuck with it. But at least there�s booze and finger foods and things.
This month�s selection is �The Prize Winner of Defiance Ohio How My Mother Raised 10 Kids on 25 Words or Less.� Which is just a nicey little tale about how a nice lady from you know, Defiance, Ohio kept winning corporate jingle contests back in the Burma Shave days, to feed and cloth her children.
You could do worse, I guess, but the real issue here, is bringing some food-type-thing to keep with the theme of the book. Which is something this estrogen brigade totally insists upon.
You know, if a character in the book�s name is even remotely Italian, say, ends with an �i� or something, they insist upon like, catering by Boyardee.
So, since we�re talking about 1950�s heartland cuisine - if I had time �I�d totally whip up my WT casserole. You know, generic frozen veggies topped with magerined-up-Ritz� crackers and melty Velveeta�.
Or, I�d make some wicked Jello� mold with miniature marshmallows and shredded carrots suspended in it like Paleolithic Wooly Mammoths waiting to be discovered in the tundra.
But considering I will be completely pressed for time and I will have to cut out of work early to even get there tomorrow evening � I�ll probably wind up swinging by the liquor store and picking up a couple of 6�ers of the Pabst Blue Ribbon - in recognition of the character in the book that is the distant and sometimes mean-spirited-alcoholic father and his $30 a week booze habit.
Oh no, you don�t need to tell me, man. I know I�m gonna burn.