I admit it. I watched the 90210 reunion special last night.
Which, other than being lame, I now realize was mostly sort of an hour-long countdown to see if Shannon Dougherty was going to have a diva meltdown or whatnot. Of course that never happened and quite frankly, I was impressed with her restraint. If it had been me squeezed in next to Luke Perry, I would’ve clocked him every time he thought it was necessary to get all grabby and like, pet my head every two minutes.
Seriously, Luke Perry, I am sorry 8 Seconds didn’t work out for you, but for real, all of your Shannon Dougherty and Jennie Garth groping was desperately sad. Look at me! I am still hott, ladies! I still got it! We are still chummy pals and we are taping for a national television audience so you must tolerate my inappropriate touching for the duration!
Also, does anyone know why Brian Austin Green was a no show? Is he like, stuck in a studio somewhere collaborating with Canadian rapper Snow plotting The All New White Boys in Rap Revolution?
And Tori Spelling! Where did you and your freaky cleavage go off and disappear to? Are you now too good for the show that launched your career, catapulting you into guaranteed Lifetime Network Super-Fame? Are you too busy you working on a sequel to Mother. May I Sleep With Danger? to share a moment with those who helped open the doors to more opportunities for you to buy your way into film roles?
Answers, people. They are all we seek!
In other news, holy freaking tornado season! Seriously, we all know The Wizard of Oz put the “fun” in funnel cloud, but this shit is for real and man, it’s scary stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good thunderstorm with lightening and crashing thunder and the works, but with the TeeVee flashing all sorts of red crazy warnings I spent most of Saturday night clutching a flashlight getting ready to make a mad dash to seek cover in the stairwell.
Also, I slept in my contact lenses and my shoes by my bed because when the sky is sickly green and bruised and the wind in squalling like that you kinda want to be able to see the four horsemen and the army of locusts as they approach.
And you’re gonna want to be dressed for it. Because even though it was hotter than hell in my apartment, I made sure to sleep in proper pajamas that night.
Because if storm like that does not kill me, the last thing I want to do is wind up getting sucked into some crazy funnel cloud, tossed about and spit out in some farmer’s barn fifty miles away all nekkid and stuff.
Does anyone else have an irrational fear of facing the apocalypse all nekkid and stuff … or is it just me?
From the neurotic mind of ann-frank.diaryland.com – that is all.