Dear Ron-Paul-Voting Nutjobs:

Where were you when all of these public smoking bans were put in order? A: Probably holed up in your UnaBomber Cabins smoking your hoarded cartons of cigarettes purchased tax-free via the internet. Yeah? Well fuck you.

Subsequently, Dear Very Nice But Kinda Delusional Lady With the Tiny Baby in the Dive Bar Tonight:

Don't ask me where the diaper-changing table is in the bathroom.

Ask whoever carded your baby.

xox
a-f