So it was plenty nice out today. About 56 degrees or so. First it’s been since October, I swear to God.

So you know, nice weather = change of wardrobe. And even though I have been dying to ditch the shoes and sock gear for flip-flops, I thought well, 56 degrees? Flip-flops? Over the top.

Then I went outside.

Apparently, no one else was feeling my “first sign of change of season” angst.

Because outside? Outside it was all, TITS AHOY!

I swear to god, every girl under 25 was sporting not only flip flops but every single halter top or titty-tee clearly purchased last fall at the end of season Old Navy clearance sale.

Ladies, really. I know we are all excited but, 56 degrees? Come June, what will we have then, huh? Let’s not jump the shark just yet.

And just so you know, the Dudes also caught their own special brand o’ wardrobe spring fever as well, because they were all wearing cargo shorts and those ugly plastic swim sandals with sweat socks.

Yeah, umm, totally sexy that swim-sandal-sweat-sock combo.

But don’t listen to me; because most of those dudes were walking along with the ladies in the halter-tops, so clearly this is all working out for y’all. So never mind me. I’ll just go feed the ducks in my parka until Memorial Day or something.

Speaking of tits ahoy and stuff, and I am not really trying to be provocative here or anything when I say this, but does anyone else wash dishes topless?

No? Just for the record, I am not really topless, I am wearing pants or shorts and a bra when I do this. But since I don’t have a dishwasher, I have to do the dishwashing deed in my sink the old fashioned way. And since I hate, hate, hate it, I normally load up the sink with scalding soapy water then let the dishes sit for a few minutes then ATTACK like crazy. Because while I want to be thorough, and I am very thorough, I also want to get this shit done. Which means I usually make a crazy mess sloshing water all over the place and my sleeves will get soaked and there is always a big splosh of water on the bottom of my shirt afterwards, so I just sometimes wind up ditching the top all together.

Look, I know what you are going to say. NO it’s not unsanitary because it’s not like I have my boobs hanging in the dishwater or anything, and I know I could just change tops afterwards, or keep a few old dishwashing shirts on hand. However, I also don’t have laundry in my building which means lugging loads and loads and loads of laundry all over town so I try to be a little conservative with how many trips to the Laundromat I have to make every week because that is a pain in the ass, too, so you know, now that I bring it up, let’s just pretend I didn’t.

I will just have to say: it’s what I do and I am okay with it.

p.s. if you know what I mean, write me! We can start a club and maybe make a calendar for charity! Har!

Also, if you found my little page here by Googling misspelled celebrity names, WELCOME!

Apparently, while I like to talk trash about celebrities, I really haven’t been brushing up on my US Weekly magazine, where I can see their actual names in print or something. Because, while I am a poor speller in general, I can’t spell celebrity names for shit.

So sorry if you came to my page looking for Shannon Dougherty, Jamie Fox, or Hillary Swank (as I have misspelled these names in past entries, which are now highly ranked Google searches!)

Clearly you don’t read enough of US Weekly either, because you are actually looking for Shannen (with an ‘en’, I’ll sue you if you do it again, I need the money!) Dougherty, Jamie (that’s two X’s, lady!) Foxx and apparently she wasn’t kidding about her poor upbringing in her Oscar’s acceptance speech, because the Swank family was so poor they couldn’t even afford the second “L” in Hilary Swank’s name!

Ooohhh, hoooo!

Thank, you! I’m Ann (not below picking on the poor girl from a trailer park with a dream!) Frankenstein! Good night!