Had a long lunch with my co-workers this afternoon.
Our new-to-the-job-waiter Brad stumbled through his opening speech then went on to recommend the mussles as an appetizer “because,” as he claimed “they are my favorite.”
As opposed to you know, the more honest “because they are the most expensive appetizer on the menu.”
Hey, I don’t want to be a dick, but it was painfully obvious Brad had never had a mussle in his entire life. No, Brad enjoys listening to Jock Jams on repeat while doing body shots off the halter-top wearing girls.
Brad’s a chips and salsa guy, not a mussles guy. And I’m okay with that. I don’t like mussles either.
So, in the end, we did not have the mussles, but we did leave Brad a healthy tip.
And even more bizarre, on our way out of the restaurant, in the front by the hostess stand, I noticed a woman about my age standing with an elderly lady with a tube in her nose, pushing around an oxygen tank in front of her.
Of course this started me thinking about how awful it would to be to have to tote one of those tanks around everywhere you go and seeing that kinda think really makes you reconsider the cigarettes if for a moment and so then I was all consumed with my thoughts about how horrible that would be all the while I watched the younger woman and the elderly woman - oxygen tank in tow - approach the hostess to inquire about a table and not missing a beat the hostess said with a big smile:
“Sure do! The wait’s about 15 minutes. Do you have a smoking preference?”
Apparently, she goes by the book, that hostess does.