Dear person who found my page through the “tall blonde Hooters” Google search:

Yes, I know Google is somewhat of a miracle tool, but there are certain things Google simply cannot do.

Like, discern one blonde Hooters girl from another.

I mean, I am no internet guru here, but considering a good portion of yer Hooters Girls look like they were cloned and harvested from some sort of Barbie Farm off the Bahaman coast, unleashed upon the world in orange poly-rayon-blend hot pants to serve pitchers of tepid beer and wings with a smile - next time you might want to consider making your search a little more… I don’t know …specific?

Say, something like: “hooters girl + club foot + third nipple” or “hooters girl + phallophobia” or “hooters girl + it itches make it stop”

Remember, the more specific your search, the more likely you are to get the particular T&A for which you are looking.

I hope we have learned a lesson here.

xox

ann “Annie Sullivan” frankenstein