You know, this week just has a total “end of days” vibe to it that is really creeping me out.
After Bush “tricked” those trouble-making terrorists by moving up the date on which “power” was “transferred” to the new Iraqi government, a friend of mine made a joke that went something along the lines of “you know his next step is to move the election date and only alert his supporters about it, right?’
Which, at the time, I thought was really kind of funny.
But now? Not so much.
Rumors are true. It turns out the Bush administration really is looking for ways to (il)legally POSTPONE the federal election in November*
I don’t have the energy to get into all of the reasons why this is pure evil but hey Dubya, here is something the gnaw on: if you claim you are moving the election date so the democratic process is not affected by terrorists, then isn’t the democratic process already being affected by terrorists when you chicken-shit out of trying to actually win a fucking election without manipulating the process (again!) by CHANGING THE DATE?
Also scary as hell—the rumors that started spreading last week are true: former Bears coach Mike Ditka is now considering running for US Senate.
Fucking, Ditka, man. Go back to peddling Viagra and stay out of politics, won’t you?
Fantastic. Now I can look forward this fall to many a “man on the street” interviews from face-painted-tailgaters lifting their beers yelling, “Da Coach for Senate! He’s just a regular guy! Just like me! Woooooooooo!”
Yeah. Regular. Sure. Hey woooo-ing guy--you do realize Ditka is not as nonpartisan as he claimed in yesterday’s news, right? You do realize he’s just looking for the GOP to keep an eye on all of his “regular guy” money, and he’s willing to spend part of his “nonpartisan” fortune to be sure that happens, right?
Seriously people, click that link. It is my newest most favorite site ever.
Not only can you find out how much your friends, siblings, parents, crushes, exes, neighbors, CEO of the shit-company you work for and other local celebrities are spending to support their favorite candidates, but you can also be totally unsurprised by the fact other, more famous CEOs like … Oh, Bill Gates donated the $2000 cap to re-elect George W. Bush.
Madonna (Ciconne Ritchie, dontchaknow) put her money where her vocal support of Wesley Clark was (granted, $2000 is like her weekly day-spa tab).
Ben Affleck, also a fan of Wesley Clark, but managed to pony up another cool grand to the the Kucinich campaign.
Are we not surprised boy-pal Matt Damon followed with another grand?
Apparently, the Kucinich donations were made back in their drinkin’ days and couldn’t commit a full $2000 ‘cause they had to cover their bar tabs.
Either that, or Gigli had just been released and Damon hadn’t yet been approached to do the Bourne Identity sequel.
Also fun: Barbara Streisand and Larry David (Seinfeld creator, current star of “Curb Your Enthusiasm”) are firmly of the ANYBODY BUT BUSH club as they throw cash every DEM possible (Babs for Al Sharpton! I love it!)
Also, note the whimsical changes of Babs professions! I wonder if she chooses based on which fundraising event she’s attending?
And really, based on the success of Starsky and Hutch, you’d think Ben Stiller could open his wallet just a liiiitle bit wider.
Janeane Garofalo’s $600 caps are just too cute!
The name Oprah Winfrey could not be found as a donor, although I have yet to check under the name MISTRESS OF THE EVIL EMPIRE, so there’s still time to see which candidate the dark source supports.
Anyway, all this linking has made me tired. So, let’s cut to the chase. What important information have we learned here as we exercise our rights as citizens of the US to peruse public records?
Is it the importance of the requirements that limit the political influence of wealthy, anonymous individuals and allows the public to track financial contributions that may influence the political process?
Is it the importance of an interface that helps the general public understand these public records?
But the most important thing of all? Owen Wilson’s address!
Duh. And God Bless!