Wooooo! Jump in the way back machine as we take a journey to 1998! That’s right, I finally joined the rest of the world and got myself a ...wait for it … cell phone!*

Look at me! I have now joined the rest of the world’s assholes!

Holla!

Wait, "holla?"

I dunno, it just felt right.

Apparently another weird side effect of cell phone acquisition, besides suddenly using words like “holla” on a newly constant basis, is abuse of exclamation points here at ann-frank.diaryland.com.

Okay, fine.

But please, kill me before I sTaRt sPellINg like Thiz, yo.

Promise me.

Actually, the only real side effect I have encountered is this new fangled things you kids have been doing since birth: text messaging. All my friends think it’s HILARIOUS that I’ve suddenly caved on the cell phone thing, so you know, there’s a constant stream of messages at .10 a pop streaming into my phone.

Sure it’s kind of funny to see a grown people sending me messages saying, “welcome to the world, beotch!” but you know, it’s just not in my nature to NOT have a comeback, so of course I have to send a message BACK and well, the back and forth has gotten a little ridiculous. I spent about an hour back and forth with a friend talking about Jesus and hookers. Necessary? No. Fun? For now.

I mean, at this rate, not only will I wind up racking up a $50.00 text messaging bill, but the huge amount of TIME it takes me to navigate those little freaking buttons takes up so. much. time I’m sure to die of sheer frustration. Especially since I just can’t bring myself to start spelling all The-Artist-Formerly-Know-As-Prince-Who-Now-Goes-By-Prince-Again-like.

Besides, it’s really hard to drive a stick shift while doing that anyway.

I won’t die 4 u cell phone!

So, anyway, I’m leaving for bizness this weekend to watch kids sk8board and do tricks on bicycles and motorcycles and things. It’s going to be hella hot outside, but the good news is I’m getting paid to do it, and I’ve just downloaded Tetris on my new cell phone so when I am not playing that, I’ll be sure to talk real loud everywhere I go, just so everyone will know how important I am!

Good weekend, all.

xox
annfrankenstein

p.s. confidential to Andrew: I will renew my supergold membership soon, I swear! That is if I don’t go broke text messaging everyone!

* yes, I did have the folks at the cell phone place hand over the official "last person on earth with a cell phone" certificate. It's hanging on the wall next to my walker if you must know.