So here’s the thing.
If for reasons beyond your control you find yourself heading out to the Cadillac Ranch - bring lots of liquid funds because chances are their ATM’s not gonna work and chances are you’re gonna need a few potent cocktails to get along little doggy.
And work up the courage to hop on the mechanical bull.
And line dancing. Lots and lots of line dancing.
Bulls and line dancing and not enough money to cover the amount of booze needed to take on the two.
Nope. Not that night. *
But don’t get me wrong, I did have a good time. I can have a good time just about anywhere I put my mind to it, you know.
Like - little known fact about a-f: I saddled up and took my chances one of them there robotic bulls already many years ago.
Y’heard – mechanical bulls are old news in the land of a-f.
Oh sure, like if you were stuck at a “dance barn” in rural Illinois and your friends were springing the cash for your 8 seconds of glory, like you’d pass that up.
Oh, yes - you’d sign the waiver and hop on.
Or in my case, you’d have some Cowboy get on his hands and knees so you could climb on his back for a little boost.
Them bulls are tall.
But the point is this, my future Urban Cow Doggies: if, during your bull run (and trust me 8 seconds on one of those things is like 12 years stuck on a Stairmaster with someone smacking you on the ass with a mallet) you feel yourself slipping off and all the sudden you are tilted and stuck all willy nilly to the side of that there bull like a fly on manure but you insist on hanging on with your one hand while squeezing your thighs like you’re trying to crack a nut….
Don’t. Just. Don’t.
Because if you’re hanging off the side, you’re not really riding you’re just flailing and you look absolutely ridiculous so it’s best you just let go.
Just. Let. Go.
Not that there are embarrassing pictures being held captive by a former college roommate I no longer speak to who by all means could be planning on selling them to People magazine when I become a super star or anything.
I’m just sayin’.
So that aside other a-f challenges for the weekend include:
How to Survive a Wedding in Terribly Cute But Horribly Awfully Painfully Contortive Strappy Sandals.
Bull riding, fashionable footwear… this modern woman shit is painful.
Have a lovely weekend, my starshines.
* Oh, I’ll be back!